Why am I Crying When Nothing’s Wrong?
BEEN THERE.
Remember when your mom or whoever was close to you when you were pregnant said “oh yeah, the baby blues, that happened to me” and you might’ve made a mental note to flag the symptoms and keep a lookout for it. At first it sounds like just being sad, but then you’re in it. And it’s big. Like, really BIG. And thick. Let’s talk about it.
First, I want to differentiate between “baby blues” and what might be something more. Baby blues, (a borderline-offensive euphemism for the lived experience imo), is the result of an unprecedented hormone crash after you birth your placenta. Your body had a tsunami of estrogen and progesterone through your pregnancy that helped you feel good, if not “good” at least not like you do right now. Once you give birth, and you birth your placenta, those hormones decrease. Hugely. And with them, so does your mood. Hugely. Probably in a way you’ve never experienced before. “Baby Blues” is physiological. It manifests in predictable ways: Crying (ok, sobbing) spells, irritability, explosive anger, disrupted sleep, whack ass perceptions of things, off-the-chain-bonkers thoughts (more on this in coming writings, I have a lot to say here), emotional whiplash akin to that slingshot ride at the Calgary Stampede (catch me on that never), it’s completely normal, and even expected.
But, it lasts about two weeks.
That’s the singular difference. If your symptoms are lingering longer than two weeks, it could signal something else like a PMAD (Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder) (which btw is also so okay), but more serious and very treatable.
PMADs do not discriminate against race, gender, and can affect the birthing person, the non-birthing person, moms, dads, parents, and adoptive parents. Also, socioeconomic status is not a protective factor against PMADs, affecting folks across all tax brackets.
So if you’re within the two weeks postpartum and crying when there’s nothing wrong, we know why. Here’s a few things you could try:
Be very gentle with yourself. I’m talking wear the comfiest clothes, use the softest blankets, move slowly and carefully, hold your own hand, truly be gentle with your body.
now is your chance to pull out all of your comfort measures. Comfort tv show. Comfort book. Comfort tunes. Comfortable.
Shower.
Pack that perfect baby up and get outside.
Eat your favourite snacks. Eat a cookie for breakfast, you deserve it.
Talk to someone. A friend, a counsellor, someone who gets it.
If you’re beyond two weeks postpartum and still crying when there’s nothing wrong, that’s a clue to be more serious about talking to a clinician. Perinatal mood disorders are more common than folks talk about, it’s not your fault, and with the right support you will get better.
Stay brave,
SJF.
